Never Been Kissed

Never Been Kissed from Tori Kinoshita on Vimeo.

Do you remember when we were eight and we used to talk about our future husbands, the number of kids we wanted, and our first kisses? Well, I’m still wondering all of those things. My best friend had her first kiss when she was eleven. It’s been a while since, and she’s already had many first kisses with multiple boyfriends. As for me, I’m seventeen and you could pretty much count me in as a virgin in every category known to man. It’s not that I haven’t had the opportunity to fall in love or have a boyfriend. It’s just that I haven’t been interested. Bad timing, I say, because usually the guy that I liked just so happened to have a girlfriend. I could go on and on about the things I haven’t done, but then the list might go on forever. As to date, one my biggest fears is how my first kiss will turn out. I’ve heard pretty horrible first kiss stories with too much tongue, lots of slobber, and too much biting of the lower lip. If it’s not too much to ask, I hope I share none of these horrible first kiss experiences with my friends. A first kiss should be magical. It should be in the right place, at the right time, with the right person. It’s dreadful and exciting not knowing what the future has to hold. However, with every day that goes by the clock slowly counts down to the very moment when my turn will come to kiss someone that I will be truly and madly in love with. I’m not expecting some extraordinary and incredible first kiss like the one from the Notebook with Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams. I mean it was rehearsed probably multiple times and was critiqued by people who were actually watching them kiss. I’m not even expecting my foot to pop like Anne Hathaway’s does in the Princess Diaries. I just want to make sure that when I do kiss somebody it means just as much to them as it means to me. It can be as plain and a simple as a peck on the lips. I may sound really innocent and naïve and I won’t deny that I kind of am both of those things. I was never one of those girls who just wanted to “get it over with.” I guess watching Cinderella over and over again and having Taylor Swift on replay has made me strive for that perfect princess fairytale. I know it’s not realistic and that my prince charming won’t be as nearly as perfect as he seems in any movie, but I hope that when I do meet someone he’ll resemble prince charming because in every flaw I’ll see perfection. Maybe I might seem a little corny but believe me I’m the farthest thing from liking cheesy relationships. I just want a real one. I’m not big on hook-ups, and I don’t like playing games with people. The way I see it you’re either committed or you’re not. You’re either in or in the way. I’m extra careful, if it wasn’t made clear already. I don’t want to get hurt even though I know it’s impossible to dodge that bullet because I know that everyone experiences some form of heartbreak in their lives. I’m looking for love not lust and commitment opposed to “things.” If I sound like I’m asking for too much maybe it’s because it is too much. But then again, if I sound vulnerable, innocent, and completely naïve it’s probably because I am. But on the contrary you are hearing my thoughts and I am the girl who has never been kissed.